CATCHING THE FERRET BATHROOM >wave fan You wave the fan. As the fan flutters in front of your face, you feel yourself being somewhat hypnotized by the rippled reflection of the moon and stars on the dark water. Holding the fan near to your face you inhale deeply. Your nose tingles, and you feel as if your sense of smell is being enhanced by the fan. Filtered through the fan, the smell of the soapy bathtub plunges you into a memory. But the memory is not your own! The memory revealed by the moon and the stars belongs to two ferrets named Stinky and Twinkie. ------------- Press space bar to continue ----------------- Twinkie, the white ferret, is the first to notice the squeaky soapy thingy as it hits the floor. Jumping up and down in excitement, she signals the situation to her mate Stinky, who is brown and black and significantly more pungent. "Oo! Oo! A squeaky soapy thingy!" she says to Stinky using ferret body language. Stinky agrees that they absolutely MUST add the squeaky soapy thingy to the collection of possessions that they keep behind the bookcase. Both ferrets have been trying to cut back on eating soap ever since that unfortunate incident with the Palmolive Gold, but that doesn't mean that they can't have a tiny lick of soap now and then. Besides, the thingy is irresistably SQUEAKY. Stinky drapes his body over the soapy thingy, contorting his body like a horseshoe. Then he convulses in repeated jumps that push the soapy thingy towards the bookcase while Twinkie darts from side to side giving moral support and an occasional shove with her shoulder, nose, or hip. Before long the soapy thingy is at the entrance to the back of the bookcase, and both ferrets are pushing and squeezing the thingy as they try to get it to fit behind the bookcase. But then events take an unexpected turn. All of the squeaking involved in trying to get the thingy behind the bookcase has attracted the attention of The Cat. ------------- Press space bar to continue ----------------- The Cat comes within two ferret-lengths of Stinky and Twinkie before stopping to stare at them. The main problem with The Cat is that it is a cat and is therefore not a ferret. Fortunately The Cat is used having other pets in the house, and until recently there had always been at least two cats and occasionally a dog or a parrot here. But now there is only one cat and two ferrets and The Cat is still trying to figure out what is a ferret. Since neither The Cat nor the ferrets know what to do when a cat sees a ferret or a ferret sees a cat, The Cat and the ferrets alway freeze whenever they see each other and then neither one is allowed to move. Just stare at each other and don't move, those are the rules. Don't move, thinks Stinky, if you don't move The Cat can't see you. Don't move, thinks Twinkie, The Cat probably wants to go away and do something else but he needs to wait until it is a good time for a cat to leave without anyone thinking that this has anything to do with ferrets. Twinkie is not usually so insightful about practical matters, but her pregnancy has done some odd things to her hormones lately. ------------- Press space bar to continue ----------------- Fortunately the standoff is broken by The Little Big Guy, who waddles over and squats next to the soapy squeaky thingy. The Cat, trying not to look as relieved as he feels, uses the opportunity to move on and to take his catness somewhere else. This leaves the ferrets to figure out what to do with the Little Big Guy. Stinky and Twinkie jump excitedly back and forth over the Little Big Guy's feet and then hop away from him, trying to get The Little Big Guy to chase them around the room. However, tonight The Little Big Guy just giggles and stamps his feet about to make the ferrets jump higher. After a while The Little Big Guy sits down and looks over at The Big Guy Lady. Judging from the bottle of Johnson's baby shampoo that The Big Guy Lady is carrying, she seems to be in the mood for giving baths. Stinky and Twinkie hop over the soapy squeaky thingy and slip back behind the bookcase. They stay close to the edge so that they can see if The Little Big Guy does anything interesting. ------------- Press space bar to continue ----------------- Twinkie decides that she should think hard about how to explain to her baby ferrets about The Little Big Guy so that they will be prepared to grow up to be the very best ferrets that they can possibly be. Stinky says that maybe one day one of their children could grow up to be the governor of California. Twinkie points out that there is probably some kind of law in California that makes it illegal for a domestic ferret to be governor. Stinky agrees that he has heard of this law, but he's pretty sure that it only applies to ferrets whose movies do not break any records for box office revenue on the first weekend. At this point Twinkie becomes confused, (which is her normal state of thinking), so she tells Stinky that she will think about box office revenues later, after she figures out how to explain The Little Big Guy to her children. That's easy, Stinky says. The Little Big Guy is one of the Big Guys except that he is Little, although he is still Big, just not Big like the other Big Guys. And the other Big Guys might try to give you a bath even though you would rather have a shower, but The Little Big Guy doesn't give you a bath (although he is very good at bubble splashing and making loud sqealy noises that make you jump and get all excited). And he is Fun, more Fun than the other Big Guys are Fun. And Dangerous. Fun and Dangerous Big Guy who is Little and sometimes has a saggy smelly diaper. Yes, says Twinkie, don't go in the diaper. Stinky continues his lecture as if Twinkie has not interrupted him. He's on a roll now and won't stop until he gets himself exhausted. Try to stay away from the fingers, Stinky advises. But lots of Fun. Drops things for you to grab quickly and then run away. Toes good for nibbling. ------------- Press space bar to continue ----------------- Twinkie is curious as to why Stinky has suddenly stopped his lecture. She discovers that this is because Stinky has fallen asleep. The Little Big Guy Who is Fun But Dangerous takes the soapy squeaky thingy and waddles back to The Big Guy Lady who always tries to give you a bath instead of a shower. Twinkie decides that she will teach her children to make sure that all generations of ferrets in this house must learn to be loyal to The Little Big Guy and help him by doing what ferrets do best. Even when The Little Big Guy grows up to be a Big Big Guy, this must be the rule always. Suddenly Twinkie falls asleep. As the memory ends, the fan snaps closed. >take tools You take some of the brightly colored machine tools. HALLWAY >e LIVING ROOM (front half) You see three empty boxes, three ordinary cans of spam, and a magic carpet (rolled) here. You see Agador-Spartacus in the dining room by the west end of the table. He's wagging his tail. >open door The front door is now open. You see Agador-Spartacus in the dining room by the west end of the table. He's wagging his tail. >s DOORSTEP >x web In the pattern of the web you can read the words "Some Duckie". >n LIVING ROOM (front half) You see three empty boxes, three ordinary cans of spam, and a magic carpet (rolled) here. You see Agador-Spartacus in the dining room by the west end of the table. He's wagging his tail. >n LIVING ROOM (back half) On the music stand you see some sheet music. You see three empty boxes, two ordinary cans of spam, and a magic carpet (rolled) here. >drop duck The rubber duckie lands with a squeak. The rubber duckie is now on the floor. Slinky comes out from behind the bookcases. Slinky tries to push the rubber duckie behind the bookcases, but the rubber duckie won't fit. >take slinky You take Slinky.